Turning Heads and Minds

I had a post about spies, Bond, 007 and such that was in a comic book type of format. The pictures that I have to support it were taken with fun with entertainment being the focus but I decided to shelve it for now. The pictures that I have include me holding a pistol in some of them. In the wake of the recent gun violence, I decided that it ought to wait for another time.

With that said, I tried to come up with another topic to post on. I have often been vocal in my opinions about labelling. I don't like the idea of fitting into someones box of definitions so that they can put me on their shelf in the correct place. If you want to hear a tirade from me, just ask me to define myself or ask me if I would call myself ... "X or Y or Z"
   I know many sisters who struggle with the subject and loose endless amounts of sleep trying to figure it out for themselves or trying to make sense of their conditioning being at odds with the expanding feeling in the loins. I am secure knowing that I am me and I don't need to be any thing else. I am an individual, Mary-Margret Callahan, the one and only.
   It's not that I don't care about myself. I do try to look my best. I do try to express myself in a manner that I would not regret in the future. I do search for acceptance and appreciation. I am just not going to beg for it or compromise myself for it..
   I have flirted with different styles. I often wear costumes but that is just the fun person in me that enjoys a good costume which is no different than anyone else who dresses up for Halloween or comic con. I just find female costumes more enjoyable. I have been cross dressing for a long time now and I have settled into a comfortable style that suits me and compliments my shape, age, personality,etc, that I like. It seems to be popular with others too. One admiring fan stated, and I quote:
    " You have nailed an elegant and sensual look all in naturalistic setting, ...You choice of dress and the weapons of choice i.e. good quality nylons with the occasional peek at the top, does more than overt publication. You have also nailed the look, the semi mature goth (intended to be a compliment) is something unique to you."

 

   Although I did chastise him a little for attempting to "define" my look, I did have to agree on the assessment. This was my reply:
   " I am growing into a style, despite the occasional costume, which is a sense of me. The flirty dress or the pencil skirt and blouse often with a touch of leather seems to be my preferred style. I do enjoy teasing with my thighs and stocking tops. I am not afraid to go further but its the journey that makes the adventure.
   I like the term semi mature goth. I get that, although "semi mature" is a bit flattering. I am 47 and proud of it. If I pretended to be younger, people would say that I looked old for that age. By stating the truth there, people are more likely to say, "not bad for forty seven". I always liked the gothic look. I dabbled a bit at it before realizing that I could not pull it off fully. Instead, I just try to incorporate some of those elements into my look for some edge.."



   In the end, I can be inwardly pleased with myself and outwardly be pleased if I can just turns some heads and turn some minds.

Writer's block or distraction?

    There was a time when I spent way too much time writing. I used to spend every spare minute that I could find composing stories. There was always some story in my head or scribbled down on paper from the past that I wanted to turn out. When I finished writing Trooper Blondie back in 2005 I had a case of burn out and took a break. Since then however, I have only turned out one more short story.

   Part of the problem was new ideas but I have been thinking of a few new ones. I have been inspired. When I was up north last week, away from any electronics, I thought out at least three new stories in my head that I told myself to write about when I got home. I even have a couple in the infant stages of progress. My problem can't be described as writer's block. I guess it's more of writer's distraction.

  You see, when I sit down at my computer, I pull up my Flickr account to see what's new with my photos or to add new ones. Once I'm done there, I check out all my emails, then I look up this blog page, then I have to see what's new with some of my other favourite sites. By the time I'm done all that I think, "Oh ya, I should start working on a story." Then I realize that I have spent way too long on the computer and have to go to bed or go to work. I am already a horrible procrastinator. The internet just makes it worse for me to get a project done.

  Blogging is quick and easy. I can jot down an thought in a few minutes but the dedication it takes to write a story is different. The thought processes requires re-reading the entire draft and picking up the stream of from that point to continue. Once I start it, I don't want to stop either. This means I have to dedicate the time before digging in the writer's chair. The irony of this blog post is that I could have used this time to write a new page of a story. There I go again.

MMC

Tranny International Holiday

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Black Widow

   I just watched the Avengers again this week and can't get Scarlett Johansson out of my head. She was my favourite part of the movie and was also the highlight of Iron Man 2 for me.

 I had an old copy of Daredevil in the achieves that featured Black Widow and dug it up. I can remember tripping on her back then too.

  I did some research on her character's history and came across Marvel's Tales of Suspense #52, published back in 1964 where the Black Widow was first introduced. She would then appear in Iron Man in 1966 and then became an Avenger in 1967 as their 16th member.

One of the obvious differences of the original Black Widow was her attire. The original Black Widow wore a tight satin wiggle dress or pencil skirt, high heels, and a pill box hat with a black widows veil. She was a true femme fatale of the time. Her original name was Natalia Romonova and was a soviet spy. Marvel later had her change sides when she joined the Avengers. Her name then became Natasha Romonoff. She didn't get her trademark jumpsuit until 1970 in an appearance in Spiderman. I couldn't help but loving the old outfit. It was nostalgic and sexy. It is the image of the female assassin that I could truly envision.

Mind you. I still prefer her as a redhead. That much is undeniable. So in my recent musings on what to wear I had an epiphany. Old school Black Widow....but with red hair. I guess its old school meets modern age or post feminist Black Widow if you will. Here are the shots...

Step into my parlour...

Innocent?

Did you see this coming?

Deadly with a pistol.

Vintage Femme Fatale

Blowing smoke

The sword can be even deadlier.

Reflecting

Now, how about that kiss?

Bizzare Night for me

   Okay, so its Saturday night in Niagara Falls. To many its all fun and good times. I work on almost every Saturday night of the year, minus vacations. I don't mind really. Being as I am in my late forties, what else would I be doing on those nights? My job is great anyway from a voyeuristic point of view. I get see people out having fun while on vacation here. The Falls attracts lots of lovers and people looking for fun. On a Saturday night, we get a steady parade of good looking ladies dressed up to the nines for a night out. Our clientele is mostly thirties and older but I like that. More mature ladies tend to dress hotter and are usually more flirtatious. We get our fare share of twenty-somethings too. Usually at 2:30 am we have a steady parade of half drunk, barely twenty, young ladies coming in wearing mini-dress and heels they can barely walk in just after a night of clubbing but not ready to call it a night yet.  Sigh....
   Like I said. I enjoy the view. That's all I get after all. When I work, I am of course in drab. I wear a business suit and look professional. As a male, I have never been a chick magnet. I am not hideously ugly or anything but I have never been the "one night night stand guy" ever. I used to be jealous of my brother for his ability to wheel in the ladies. He had ass thrown at him like frisbees. I can recall in younger years going out and spending all night trying to chat up a girl, buying drinks and end up getting rejected or her saying she was just not "that kind of girl" but five minutes later she was in the bathroom giving my brother a blowjob. Go figure. Some guys have it, some of us don't. I never had it. I think many of us who crossdress do so partly because as men, we don't get much attention or don't think of ourselves as sexually attractive. We see some females not even trying. We think to ourselves..."If I was her, I would put on more makeup, wear a nice dress, some stockings, high heels and I would be irresistible"....
   I have some proof of this... I have 2 Flickr accounts. One is my everyday male, drab self and the other is Mary-Margret, my female personae. My male account gets 0-10 views a week and has had less than 10000 views in six years. My account for Mary-Margret gets 300-1000 views a day and  has had almost a million views in two years. I realize that as a man, I am not an attention getter. So....here comes the weird part...

   Its a slow Saturday night. Its October, its cold and its raining heavy. Its a bit slow at work. Rare, but true. Not much happening. Early on, an attractive female regular walks in, looking hot, dressed sharp. She is always nice to me, sweet. I am friendly with her. Just good business. She flirts shamelessly with me. I know the game. Its not me, its just sucking up to the management. Still, she makes me horny and it is a nice ego boost if nothing else. Still, a slow night of business. The boss asks me if I want to cut out early. I have worked the most Saturdays and they don't need so much staff, so if I want, I can leave early. Its only 1230. I say, what the hell, I'll go. On my way out, my attractive patron corners me and I tell her that I am off the clock if she wants to do anything. Then, as I suspected, she confesses that she is just playing, she really isn't "that" into me. I wasn't surprised. Story of my life.
   Still, Saturday night and the bars are still open. There are several within walking distance so I choose a place that still has the ball game on, more open and not too loud with club music. I sit at the bar and order a beer. Looking around, I see that I am older than anyone else in there. No big deal. The young ladies were in large numbers with lots of leg showing so I would just sit and enjoy the view. I tried not to be creepy and stare too much but wow, they were there in the hundreds. I tried to focus on the ball game but the distractions were many. One young lady came up to buy a drink and struck up a conversation about baseball. Sweet. Then she went back to her friends and it was back to reality for me. One young blonde lady walked past wearing a minuscule black dress that didn't quite cover her sexy ass and had knee high black boots and fishnets. It was hard not to stare. She was with her boyfriend, a mulatto skin athletic man, holding hands so I looked away as to avoid any jealous conflicts. I sat and finished watching the Tigers beat the Yanks in 12 innings. Awesome!    
     After that I decided to have a walk around the bar with a beer and just take in the scenery. I felt out of place, twice as old as everyone else, wearing a suit. But the crowd was friendly. Everyone seemed to be having fun. Then I walked by a table with "that blonde" and her mulatto boyfriend. I probably stared too long, not because of the attraction but because they were sitting on the same side of the table, looking out, not facing each other. I thought it was strange. It looked like they were waiting for someone. Then I realized I was busted for staring. She smiled, so I politely smiled backed. She waved at me and signalled me to their table. I figured that I was either in trouble and would have to apologize or they were tourists who need directions, as usual. The girl asked me if I would join them. I was a bit hesitant and looked at her boyfriend. He smiled and nodded his approval. Okay, I thought. No conflict, must need directions. The guy extended his hand and introduced himself as Ed. We shook and I gave my real name as M****. His hot girlfriend then introduced herself as Edwina (Ed and Edwina? Not fakes names, right?) I sat down in their booth feeling more comfortable and extremely curious. Edwina then, as casual as could be, asked, "would you like to join us for a threesome?"
Jaw, floor...you get the picture. I looked back at Ed and he was smiling and said, "that's why we are here."
I tried not to hesitate too long but I was in shock. I tried to be as casual as possible, liked I got that question every day from young, super hot looking couples. I stammered out some kind of agreement and they seemed pleased. Edwina went on about Viagara, if I had any, knew where to get it, etc. She asked if I was rock hard because that's what she wanted. They asked me again if I was cool with a three way. Was this my birthday or something? I was in disbelief. Did they know what my biggest fantasy was? I am not kidding you. This shit actually happened. I asked them what hotel they were staying in and they told me to meet them there.
     That's all I am going to say about this because some things are best left unsaid. The point of this story was to show you that no matter how you feel about yourself, you never know where or when, it just might be your day.

XOXO
Mary-Margret, (but just not tonight)

A Kiss

"The anatomical juxtaposition of the two orbicular orris muscles in the state of contraction" ~ dictionary

  I was re-reading a blog post from a friend of mine about a kiss.... http://www.janieblack.com/kissed-off-at-myself/
   I remembered that I put it on my list of things to write about. When we are young (teenagers, let's say) we think of a kiss as a progression to something more. Indeed, a kiss is foreplay that can and often leads to sex. Kissing is also more or less socially acceptable in public whereas sex is less so. So, we go on thinking of kissing as a way to a means.
   I have discovered as many others have also discovered that a kiss can be so much more. When I think back to younger days and people that I had intimate relations with...what I remember most is not the penetrative acts as much as it is the kisses. The kisses are less a physical act as the are an emotional one. The kiss is about passion and desire. It is giving and receiving in one. Kissing is about conquest and surrender at the same moment.

 It may not seem much to some
To ones whose hearts are cold,
But to those that care to feel
A kiss is worth more than gold. ~ Anonymous

    Many prostitutes have often excluded kissing from their services for hire. They might be willing to do many acts of sex including oral, anal, toe sucking, S&M, and a long list of other kinks but when it comes to kissing, the act is simply too intimate and is reserved only for their loved ones. Sex is an exercise that is a means to a paycheck but a kiss requires an emotional investment.
    I saw a movie back in the late seventies ( I can't remember the name of it) where a cop was getting info from a high class call girl. The cop promised not to arrest her for the info exchange. She was enamoured with him and offered him a freebie from her menu (it actually was menu). He noticed that the most expensive thing on the menu was "a simple kiss". He wondered why and thought it harmless. She gave him the kiss for free and he found out why it was the most expensive thing she had to offer. He was changed forever and fell in love with her.
    After that, I never underestimated the power of the kiss. As I told Janie in the comments of her blog....
"I know what kissing does for me and yes, I feel more intimate when kissing then I do in form of penetration, giving or receiving. If the kiss isn’t good then it is all downhill from there. A great kiss however will turn me to mush. It’s the passion. Nothing beats it."

   I for one, do not shy away  from a kiss. If I feel a connection with a person then I am usually quite willing to share a kiss. It becomes the icing on the cake and then I feel like I have truly connected with that person in a greater way than any other act will make. It gives me a warm glow. As for the disbelievers to my theory, ask yourself this.... After having great sex with a person, what do you naturally feel like doing with them after? Hmm?

 The kiss seals the deal.

Just my two cents worth...feel free to add your opinions or to leave comments (please do)

MMC

Bond trailer

So a new 007 movie is coming out again soon. Check out this trailer...

Okay, so its not the real trailer...
   So what is it about the James Bond series that has made it the most successful franchise in movie history? It has spanned five decades, going on six with six different actors. I for one admit being addicted the James Bond. It doesn't make much sense really. The character was created by Ian Fleming who was a racist, misogynist, bigoted, chain smoker. I have read every Ian Fleming book and even his writing is shallow and trite and his characters are transparent and one dimensional, but I HAD to read them all. There is no realism involved. I can speak with some knowledge in that area. Since Ian Fleming died back in the sixties, other writers have taken up the torch. They try to do him justice by maintaining his style. I just read Carte Blance a 007 story by Jeffery Deaver who tries to attempts Fleming's style. It wasn't too different, just modernized. Still, I HAD to read it.

   There is just some undeniable infatuation with the suave, cool, yet tough as nails man that is Bond. Every man wants to be him and every woman wants to be with him. The female roles are not without their influence too. Perhaps it is the steady variety of femme fatales  that keep our interest and yearning for more. As you can see, I would love to be one of those femme fatales. So there you go. I guess once you go Bond, you never go back.

  Skyfall opens in November and I'm sure, I'll be there to see it opening weekend...sigh

MMC

Early Influences

   As I am sure all of the Freud followers will agree upon, a lot of who we are today comes from the influences of our youth. I may not remember what I had for breakfast yesterday or the name of my doctor but there are images from my youth that are forever ingrained in my memory. I know a lot of other tgirls that have stories of sneaking into their mothers drawers and closets. This is where so many fell in love with nylon stockings. One of my earliest memories of my scared youth was a Playboy magazine that was not hid at all. It wasn't the nude models that first attracted me but a cartoon. It took me a while to find it again in my adult life, but 40 years later, I had no trouble identifying it. It was a Richard Sokol pinup but I didn't know that until I saw it years later.....

This could help to explain my love of redheads and fishnets and high heel boots. It could also explain my leaning toward strong women. When it comes to celebrities, we all have our favourites too. I still favour the divas of the 60's and 70's. It doesn't mean that I don't like the modern women but I just don't follow so many of them as I did the classics. My list of early influences included Marilyn Monroe, of course. Who's doesn't?
But ahead of MM were a few others that have left their mark in my memory as the ideal women. Jane Fonda, not the aerobics Jane of the 80's but the soft sex kitten of the sixties Jane Fonda as in Barbarella, and Cat Ballou. Then there was Anne Margret, redheaded and bodacious with a soft delicate voice in Kitten with a Whip and Murders Row. Rachael Welch was the bombshell of the day. I loved her in those speghetti westerns. I also loved Natalie Wood. She had a wonderful appeal much like Anne Margret. One of my favourites was Sharon Tate who I best remember in the Wrecking Crew. Sadly was taken away in the Healter Skelter murders. Then of course there was the Batman TV series. Julie Newmar was sex on a stick and Yvonne Creig as Batgirl still drives me wild. My ideal woman is a hybrid cross of all these divas. Other greats from that era were Elkie Sommers, Barbara Eden, Elizabeth Montgomery, and Jane Seymour. My makeup, style and dressing preferences are derived from this era. Later in the late 70's, it was all about Farrah Fawcett, Lynda Carter and Catherine Bach on TV. It was however, those icons of the 60s and early 70s that top my lists.

Marilyn Monroe in Niagara

Marilyn Monroe

Jane Fonda in Cat Ballou

Jane Fonda as Barberella

Anne Margret

Anne Margret in Murders Row

Rachael Welch

Rachael Welch

Natalie Wood

Young Natalie Wood

Sharon Tate

Sharon Tate

Julie Newmar

Yvonne Creig as Batgirl

So who are your influences?

Insane?

  

   Is firing into a crowd of people insane? Sure. The actions of James Holmes are anything but sane but is he insane? The state of Colorado thinks so. James Holmes painted his hair bright red , called himself "the Joker" and carried out his shooting rampage at the opening night of  "The Dark Knight Rises". So now his court case is sealed and he will likely go into a secure mental care facility. What he deserves is the maximum penalty for murder allowed in Colorado.

   Insane? James Holmes had a degree in neural science, a 3.6 grade average and was accepted into a highly rated PHD program. Insane? He chose a school in a state with very lax gun laws. He had a detailed plan for the night of crime. He ordered weapons and ammo weeks before hand. He carefully booby trapped his apartment. He executed his plan to maximize causalities with precision. Then, fully armed and covered in body armour, he gives up to police without a fight. This shows premeditation and intent. He completed a complex estimate and carried out his intended plan to the letter. Insane? Now he is playing the crazy card. Does trying to emulate a fictitious character constitute insanity? If it did, we all would be insane.

  In the final public courtroom appearance, a woman sitting in the back row, with a shaved head, stood up and claimed to have evidence of judicial wrongdoing that would aid the defendant. Who is this woman? Is she supposed to be his Harley Quinn? We obviously have yet to see this clown's true endgame. Those of us who have been Batman, and Dark Knight fans for many years know that the Joker always had another level of chaos ready to be unleashed. It was never simple. So if James Holmes really believes that he is the Joker, his plans may still have not all been seen.

  I apologize for giving this creep any more attention than he already has but the decision to declare him "Insane" is insane. Lock him up and throw away the key.

White Thighs

  You remember my post called "The Glimpse"     The Glimpse

 I referenced the the lure of the glimpse of thigh above the stocking welt and its sexual attraction. I remembered an old book I read a while back called "White Thighs" by Alexander Trocchi. He was also the author of Cain's Book. White Thighs is a story of a man who is obsessed with this portion of women and worships the thighs of strong women. He can go from master to servant in three seconds from the meer glimpse of stocking thighs. There is a great deal of Dominant-submissive relationships in the story and a fair bit of S&M as well. I find it easy to relate to the obsession that drives the main character. It has had me obsessed for as long as I can remember.

The cover art of the book looked so familiar to me, so I went back to some of my older photos and found this one...

 
This should put some perspective to it....

Coincidence????
by the way, its a good read. Beats the hell out of 50 shades.
MMC