With that said, I tried to come up with another topic to post on. I have often been vocal in my opinions about labelling. I don't like the idea of fitting into someones box of definitions so that they can put me on their shelf in the correct place. If you want to hear a tirade from me, just ask me to define myself or ask me if I would call myself ... "X or Y or Z"
I know many sisters who struggle with the subject and loose endless amounts of sleep trying to figure it out for themselves or trying to make sense of their conditioning being at odds with the expanding feeling in the loins. I am secure knowing that I am me and I don't need to be any thing else. I am an individual, Mary-Margret Callahan, the one and only.
It's not that I don't care about myself. I do try to look my best. I do try to express myself in a manner that I would not regret in the future. I do search for acceptance and appreciation. I am just not going to beg for it or compromise myself for it..
I have flirted with different styles. I often wear costumes but that is just the fun person in me that enjoys a good costume which is no different than anyone else who dresses up for Halloween or comic con. I just find female costumes more enjoyable. I have been cross dressing for a long time now and I have settled into a comfortable style that suits me and compliments my shape, age, personality,etc, that I like. It seems to be popular with others too. One admiring fan stated, and I quote:
" You have nailed an elegant and sensual look all in naturalistic setting, ...You choice of dress and the weapons of choice i.e. good quality nylons with the occasional peek at the top, does more than overt publication. You have also nailed the look, the semi mature goth (intended to be a compliment) is something unique to you."
Although I did chastise him a little for attempting to "define" my look, I did have to agree on the assessment. This was my reply:
" I am growing into a style, despite the occasional costume, which is a sense of me. The flirty dress or the pencil skirt and blouse often with a touch of leather seems to be my preferred style. I do enjoy teasing with my thighs and stocking tops. I am not afraid to go further but its the journey that makes the adventure.
I like the term semi mature goth. I get that, although "semi mature" is a bit flattering. I am 47 and proud of it. If I pretended to be younger, people would say that I looked old for that age. By stating the truth there, people are more likely to say, "not bad for forty seven". I always liked the gothic look. I dabbled a bit at it before realizing that I could not pull it off fully. Instead, I just try to incorporate some of those elements into my look for some edge.."
In the end, I can be inwardly pleased with myself and outwardly be pleased if I can just turns some heads and turn some minds.